Day 9 - Freaking Frying Pan

I am the kind of person that gets bored easily.  Meaning I start something and after a bit I am bored.  I do finish what I start but it takes a lot of effort on my part.  So where am I going with this.  I have committed to this blog and so I will finish it but I get concerned with things like, what if I get writers block, will others really start to read it, does it really matter......is anybody out there.  But just like in Julie & Julia I will continue to move forward one day at a time, one blog post at a time.  And even if no one is reading I will have at least accomplished my goal even if it takes me a year.  Because in the end my real challenge and commitment is to lose the weight. The other challenge I have is that I want the weight to come off faster so I feel better.  I mean I want it to just melt away and I don't really see why that should be so difficult for my body to understand.  :)  So then I push harder and harder but in the end it still takes time and patience.  And boy am I learning a lot lately about patience.

A quick tidbit about my house searching.  I started searching for a second homes several months ago.  I placed my house up for rent thinking it would take a while to find a renter but found one rather quickly.  And therefore moved in with parents thinking it would be short term.  After bidding on several properties, I found a short sale 2 1/2 months ago.  I still am going through the short sale process but I decided I wanted to keep looking just in case I found a regular sale and something I liked just as much or more. So what happens Saturday, I find two I like.  Bid on one and they take the other offer.  Bid on the second one, after being told they hadn't liked any of the offers they had received, only to be told they decided to take one of the older offers.  So I continue to search but this is how it has been going.  So I bought a mezuzah to be a sign of good faith that the house intended for me by G-d will come along.

Overall I believe G-d is trying to teach me how to be patient and gracious by having me stay with my parents longer than expected. I thought I was a patient and gracious person but G-d has another idea.   I love my parents dearly and my mom is one of my best friends.  And over the last year my dad and I have really strengthened our relationship.  But once you have been out on your own it is difficult to move back home.  I think it is because under a parents roof there is always the parent-child relationship versus when you move out and can develop an adult - adult relationship.  In addition I am used to my space.  But I believe until I come to terms with my current living situation and learn some gratitude for having a place to live versus renting, G-d will keep the current situation as it is.  Lets just say my Torah and I need to spend a little time together.  I believe He is also taking this time to help me with my weight.  I must learn to change my eating habits so I can be around longer.

Today when I woke up I decided to weigh myself (despite saying I would only do it once a week...see the patience thing again).  I weighed 195.1, that is 1.9 lbs.  I felt great going to work.

Breakfast - 1/2 Nuplus + 1/2 Vitashake + Vitafruit + mixed fruit + Fortune Delight

Snack: Sunbar

Lunch - Lunch size ahi tuna crunch salad at Yard House.  (I was proud that I had no appetizers and drank my Fortune Delight, despite this being a vendor lunch which is usually full of not healthy stuff)

Snack - Sunbar

Dinner - This is a weak point of mine.  I am a foodie and love some of our local restaurants especially when vendors are taking us out.  So this was a tough one and I believe I faired well and far better then I would have before my commitment.  I had one ahi tuna piece of the appetizer (these were a 1 x 1 inch square), chose a spinach salad as a starter (very light vinaigrette), vegetarian paella and had a sliver of square piece of cake plus 2 glasses of red wine.  I stayed away from the bread and french fries on the table. Now before this I would have said order several of the appetizers and ate several of them, ordered soup instead of a salad and something heavy and fattening for the main, with a whole dessert for myself. And we won't even talk about how much wine I could drink.   So I am taking baby steps.  My goal is to ignore the appetizers and dessert in the next two months.

A great person I know once said, G-d will repeatedly hit us over the head with something until we learn what we are supposed to.  I say, does he have to use a frying pan? The response is yes.  I say "freaking frying pan."

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