Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Day 23 - Acceptance

Several blogs ago I wrote that I would write about this topic at a later date.  So here we are.  As you know I started with a new company 3 weeks ago.  I consider myself a pretty strong and independent person.  In my old company I knew the ways of how things functioned, knew how others were, was brainwashed with fear of doing the wrong thing all the while feeling strong about who I was and what my role was. I would say that is a false sense of security but I never felt secure there. But here I was in a new place feeling my way around.  Interestingly enough I found myself wanting to fit in with others at my new company.  We have locked doors at our office for security and we all have key fobs that give us access. Others had theres on those spiral key chains that fit on your wrist.  As dumb as it was I wanted to have one of those.  I went to three places just to find one, just to feel like I fit in.   Such a small thing was playing a role in my life.  I felt connected once I had one.

Then we had example two last week with the tasting day.  One I wanted to know what those tastings were like and how the company functioned and I wanted to fit in.  Then yesterday I was invited to go to dinner tonight with my boss and a consultant who is training me.  I was shocked because that would never happen in my previous company.  There were title lines that shouldn't be crossed especially to eat with those with a lesser title than you.  See I broke that rule all the time because people matter to me, not titles.  One of my weaknesses the company saw in me.  I see it as a strength.   Well clearly in this new company these title lines do not exist.  So tonight we went out to dinner and I failed at eating.  I am very disappointed in myself.

I started to exam this necessity to fit in and be accepted and how that can contribute to weight gain.  Ever notice how we assume others will not accept us if we turn down a drink or say no to appetizers, bread or a dessert.  We ASSUME.  I thought tonight, I said yes because I felt they wanted me to have a drink, partake in the appetizer and have dessert.  Not because they forced me, not because they said anything but because I have been pre-conditioned to think this way.  To think others will say something if I say no, to think I won't be accepted if I say no.  The truth is, I am ok if someone doesn't like it if I say no because it is my body and my life.  It is ok if they don't accept me because I choose to be healthier.  This I choose going forward.  Next time  you are out with friends or new people stop and think before you order or pick up something you don't really want.  Stop and think is it them pressuring you or you pressuring you.

Except for dinner which I am very disappointed with myself was a good day.

Breakfast:  Nuplus shake with berries and vitafruit, Quinary

Snack:  Sunbar

Snack:  Nuplus shake with berries and vitafruit, quinary

Lunch:  3 sushi, california roll, seaweed salad, miso soup

Snack:  Sunbar

Snack:  Nuplus shake with berries and vitafruit, quinary

Dinner:  2 mixed drinks, few scoops of guacamole, small piece of bread, hazelnut crusted sea bass, asparagus, no mayo slaw, few forks of coconut cake.

Metabooster, metashapers

I did have a better day today.  The shakes 20 minutes before meals does help a lot.


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